What Our Lovelies Are Writing 6.30.16

pushing lovely

Last week we introduced our weekly round-up of articles shared by members of the Pushing Lovely community. Each week we will share what some of our members are writing about on their site. We encourage you to connect with their sites and support them if their words and topics speak to you.

The Pushing Lovely community is dedicated to sharing and supporting our members and their individual journey with their writing. We are a diverse and eclectic group and we all have a passion for the written word.

This Week’s Round-Up

Here is a sampling of what our Lovelies have been writing and a brief recap, in their words:

An Unconventional Librarian | Half the Sky: Turning Oppression Into Opportunity for Women Worldwide: Girls and young women (and often boys) are tricked and sold and forced into sex slavery, prostitution, and forced to suffer other unbearable inhuman ways of life. The book made me angry and it made me cry. Sex trafficking is a thing that must be stopped.

And Starring As Herself … Mrs. RKFJ | Tita’s Blanket: Inspired by the movie Like Water for Chocolate, I begin to knit again.

Divas With A Purpose | 3 Steps to Creating New Habits: Creating new habits can be a struggle. This article shares 3 ways to help you get started and includes a free printable.

Janeane’s World | When the Real and the Magic Start to Fight Back: I am feeling activist. We must put action behind our words and take control back when it comes to our lives. (Janeane’s article was, also, featured on BlogHer, the # 1 women’s lifestyle digital media company! Congratulations to her!)

Tips for Decluttering Your Life This Summer

A cluttered home or workspace can be stressful and distracting.

Although getting rid of clutter can sometimes seem overwhelming, by taking small and manageable steps you can quickly and easily reclaim your space, helping you to feel more calm and productive.

Click here to read the 5 ways Tazim shares on how to rid your life of clutter this summer.

Shut Up and Just Do It!

team work - use it
As a whole, some people complain too much. We all have at least one friend who complains about everything. She hates the weather, her job, her clothes, her man, her kids and even her life. She calls you and complains. She texts you and complains about politics and the bad customer service at the supermarket.
The first 100 or 1,000 times this happened you sat down, listened to her complaints and helped her brainstorm a variety of solutions to meet seven different possible scenarios. You had her practice over the phone with you to make sure she was ready to handle it all. Then . .  . nothing. She ignored your advice. She simply ignored all your advice. That is not the bad part though. The bad part is that she called you back and started complaining again!
If this has never happened to you, then you are probably the person driving someone else insane with this type of ridiculous behavior. Today is the day to change all that.
It is time for you to stop giving out advice that your friend does not want. You can tell she doesn’t want it because she doesn’t take it. If  in fact, she wanted your advice she would take it. Think about it. If you handed that same friend 100 one hundred dollar bills she would reach out take it and use it with a smile. If your friend complains non-stop about something and refuses to take your advice, she doesn’t want it. Stop trying to give it to her. You will both be better off.
If on the other hand, you are the person who does all the complaining and asking for advice shut up and just do it. It is cruel for you to constantly complain to your friends, seek out their advice and then refuse to accept it when it is given. When a friend spends time working out solutions for problems and tries to help you she has given you a wonderful gift. She has given you a treasure – her time. When you ignore her advice, when you refuse to even attempt the solutions you requested,  you have wasted her time. It is cruel to waste her time. So stop!
From now on when someone gives you the help you desperately requested, shut up and take it!

21 Quotes from Shonda Rhimes “Year of Yes” that Made Me Say YAASSS Too!


A good book is life changing.
Mind altering.
A gateway to new experiences.
All of the above.

I recently read Shonda Rhimes, creator of Gray’s Anatomy, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder, & Private Practice (it’s off the air now but I loved that show too!), new book YEAR of YES. 

I read the reviews before I purchased the book and the majority were great, with details about what resonated the most for them. Sold.

I want to resonate. I want to connect. I want to say YES to somethings. Wait, what was she saying YES to? Why was she saying YES?

It’s amazing how small things, conversations or some times one word and change the trajectory of our life. Shonda was already a badass, whether she knew it or not, but in YEAR of YES she shares how one 6 word sentence on Thanksgiving changed her life. Now, it could very well change yours.

Instead of doing a basic review, I wanted to share with you the things I highlighted while reading this book and some mini revelations or my experiences that came along with it.

Click here to read the remainder of this article on BernettaStyle.com

5 Lessons From My First Year As A Full Time Entrepreneur

June 19, 2015 – I logged off of my 9-5 work computer for the last time and began my journey as a full time entrepreneur. It was a very bittersweet moment as I truly loved the people who I worked with. It sounds cliche’-ist but we really were a mini-family. Many of us had worked together for 7-8 years or more and we were truly friends – not just co-workers.

However, it was time for me to move forward. The work that I was doing no longer excited me. I found myself resentful of the time spent there and not focusing on my business. The late nights were taking its toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally as I balanced a 45-50 hour a week full-time job, family life, my time and building my businesses.

I’ll be honest there were definitely some panic moments during those first few months. It took some time for me to adjust to not being around people – my friends and co-workers – on a regular basis. There were days when the walls seemed to be closing in on me and I craved in-person adult conversation and interaction.

I found my balance, got a routine and then … had to re-adjust all over again.

5 Lessons As A New Full Time Entrepreneur

Working from home lessons

Lesson 1: Even if you have a Plan B, C and D – something will come up and you just have to adjust and press forward.

Life happens. You adjust, learn from it and keep pressing forward. When running your own business, you have to be prepared for the unexpected – missed payment deadlines from clients, crashed websites, downed email servers, the list is endless. I’ve learned not to wallow in the “ugh!” moments but to press forward and handle what is in my control.

Lesson 2: Decide if you’re running a business or a hobby. Get your business life in order.

This is a conversation that I have had with many an aspiring entrepreneur over the years. You treat your business differently when you decide this is truly a sustainable source of income that you want to build and not something that you are testing out. It is essential that you have the proper state and county business licenses in place; your federal tax ID; determine what type of business structure you are running; and set up your business account, just to name a few.

Lesson 3: Don’t be afraid to share what you’re doing. You are your biggest referral source.

How will people know what you’re up to if you don’t tell them? I’ll be honest, at first I was wary about sharing with family and friends because not everyone “gets” it. Many just didn’t understand exactly what I did. They just saw that I’d left a “good” job to sit at the house all day. Would I be able to change everyone’s mind and get them to see what I did? Nope. But those that truly wanted to be supportive, listened and were truly interested. I’ve even had some relatives that have referred their friends to me and that is a MAJOR win in my book.

Lesson 4: Work-life balance and self-care is essential.

Within many of my entrepreneur circles, there’s a recurring need to always be “on” and constant focus on building your business. It is so important to carve out work-life balance when you work from home, because it is so easy for the lines to be blurred and it seem like you’re always working. That’s not good for your body or mind. Self-care is a must! You don’t want your most valued employee to be out on extended sick leave.

Lesson 5: Connect with others on a similar journey.

This is great to do virtually and face-to-face. I’ve gotten so much from my online groups and the local entrepreneur groups that I am a part of. Referrals, traded services, support and invaluable knowledge.

What Our Lovelies Are Writing 6.21.16

pushing lovely

The Pushing Lovely community is dedicated to sharing and supporting our members and their individual journey with their writing. We are a diverse and eclectic group and we all have a passion for the written word.

Each week we will share what some of our members are writing about on their site. We encourage you to connect with their sites and support them if their words and topics speak to you.

Janeane’s World | Start Training Your Employees Before You Hire Them: Train your employees correctly at the start and they will perform in ways that will pass your greatest dreams. The proper training of employees can be the difference between existence and success. It is worth the time and money to do it right the first time around.

Divas With A Purpose | 5 Lessons From My First Year as A Full-Time Entrepreneur: Five lessons from my first year as a full-time entrepreneur working from home with children. I found my balance, got a routine and then … had to re-adjust all over again. Such is life when you’re fully in control of your business and the business making decisions. It’s truly been a journey and I’m excited to see what lies ahead.

Pushing Lovely | Letter From The Editor: Wake Up and Show Yourself Good Friendship: Janeane Davis, our Executive Editor, shares valuable and inspiring messages every Monday on our Pushing Lovely website. This week she reminds us to: “Acknowledge the fact that you have something to contribute to the world that no one else has to offer. Recognize that you are a woman, a phenomenal creation.”

An Uncoventional Librarian | In The Cut, Episode 4: Pam Margolis, our Unconventional Librarian, has an amazing podcast that discusses diversity in books. In this episode she’s joined by fellow librarian, Rachee’ Fagg


Wake Up and Show Yourself Good Friendship

united state of women

Letter from the Editor,

One of the best things a woman can do for herself is to show herself good friendship and love herself. Think about it this way, if you do not love yourself, why should anyone else love you. Just as charity starts at home, so should love, friendship and support. How often do you show yourself good friendship? How often do you congratulate yourself for a job well done? How often do you celebrate your accomplishments?

Two of my four children had the same teacher for kindergarten. One of the things she did was teach the children to show themselves good friendship. I have always thought that was a good skill, a lifelong skill. When we have friends, we treat them with courtesy and respect. We care about our friends’ feelings. We celebrate their successes and we forgive them for their failures.  So often, we do not show ourselves the kindness and friendship we show our friends.

I have seen what happens when women do not learn to show themselves good friendship. Women who do not show themselves good friendship are:

  • more stressed
  • more likely to say yes when they mean no
  • less healthy
  • more aggravated
  • less happy

It does not matter that you never showed yourself friendship in the past. Today can be the day you start to show yourself good friendship. If you do not know how, start with something small like not getting upset with yourself for small mistakes you make in your role as wife and mother. Life is full of such mistakes – dinner gets burned, you yell at a child for a mistake the child makes or you forget an important item at the supermarket. When any of these things happens, acknowledge a mistake has been made and move on. If a friend of yours did any of these things you would tell her to forget about it and move on. Take that advice yourself.

Last week in Washington, D.C. there was a major conference called “The United State of Women.” It was a grand and spectacular event with women from all walks of life. It was a wonderful celebration of womanhood and what it means to be a woman in today’s world. My eldest daughter, Euphoria Davis of Black Girl, Brown Sugar who is a junior at Spelman College attended the event. She is a young woman and has that enthusiasm and belief that she can change the world that only young women possess. It is a beautiful thing to see.

While at the conference she was excited when listening to the speakers. She was enjoyed listening to how she could make a difference in the causes she believed in from where she is now. She walked away from the conference with a renewed desire to help victims of sexual assault, a progressive cause she is passionate about. Take time today to follow the example of this young woman. Acknowledge the fact that you have something to contribute to the world that no one else has to offer. Recognize that you are a woman, a phenomenal creation. Wake up, show yourself good friendship and then go out and make your world a better place.

Pushing forward . . . always forward,


Technology Can Inspire Creativity

Technology Can Inspire Creativity

Technology can do many things, one of them is inspire creativity. When was the last time you picked up one of your devices and played around with it, just for the fun of it?

One of the best things about technology is that you can get really creative.

One of my favorite things about technology is that it makes it possible for me to be really creative in the way I do things. Of course, we all know that our tablets and phones enable us to do word processing and take photos. Those things are old hat. In my days as a litigator, I prepared for a murder trial on a Palm Pilot device. Today, I can prepare full mutli-media presentations for clients using my tablet device. Wi-fi capability, fast processing speed and great software programs enable me to get really creative. I am able to add music, videos and websites to reports I give clients.

Click here to read the remainder of this article on Janeane’s website.

Best Ways to Treat Eczema

Over your lifetime, you probably walked to raise money and raise awareness for cancer, lupus, MS, or epilepsy. But have you tied up your sneakers for eczema? Although the ailment is far from deadly, and I wouldn’t dare compare it to a devastating disease, eczema doesn’t have a cure. And for the first time, a charity walk was held in North Carolina to try to find one.

Like many people, I have dry skin from time to time, but it’s nothing a little lotion can’t combat. Eczema on the other hand needs more attention. I heard of it, but never really educated myself on the matter, until I became a mom. When my daughter was a couple of months old, I noticed dry patches on her skin. I moisturized her often and ran a humidifier. But the problem didn’t go away. Her pediatrician prescribed Nystatin. The ointment cleared up the red rash on my daughter’s face, but it didn’t do anything about the scaly skin on her body. The doctor then bumped up the medicine to Desonide. I was uneasy about using a steroid ointment, because I heard rumors that it caused hyper pigmentation, especially on African American babies. It worked, but left behind light spots. I later learned it was the eczema not the steroid that caused this. Later, a pediatric dermatologist refilled the Desonide prescription. She said once the problematic areas healed, lather on CeraVe Cream or Aquaphor Healing Ointment. As a journalist, I always search for multiple sources and like to spread the news about my findings.

So, I picked the brains of fellow moms, Skincare Expert Dr. Patricia Treadwell and The National Eczema Association to find out the best ways to treat eczema in infants and toddlers.

Click here to read the remainder of this article on Diary of a First Time Mom.

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